Hi, I live at home with my ten yr old son and yr old daughter. Today I received a letter inviting me to an interview with a customer compliance officer (which googling has led me to believe is in fact a fraud investigation officer). Well now I am worried that maybe I'm getting something I'm not entitled to but I'm unsure so was hoping you could help me as my situation is rather complex. Pls bear with me because it is a long story.
I split from my ex husband in 2008 after some long term marital issues. I moved out of the family home with my son and into a 3 bed rented house. I was in uniful tims but also working part time so I got a maintenance grant but for the most part I supported myself until my final yr when I stopped working as the uni work was getting tough . My ex husband continued to see our son -sometimes daily and have him over to his house regularly -we lived just roads apart. I finished uni in May 2011 and started work again... now with uni out of the way I decided it was time for a divorce so, being on good terms with my ex I broached the subject and he said he wasnt ready. I asked why and he confessed he still had feelings for me. After a few weeks of mulling it over I agreed I would like to start dating again so we did, but remaining living separately. We just dated, kinda like starting afresh. Anyway that summer I couldn't afford a holiday so my ex suggested we go away for a short break together. We stayed in separate rooms (I didnt want to confuse our son) -I had the double and he shared the twin room with our son. Well things got a little merry on one or two nights and 7 weeks later I realised I was pregnant... but not before finding out he was kind of dating someone else before we went away so, angry at him, I called the whole thing off but kept the baby as I was turning 30 and wanted this baby so much. As it turned out he had finished things with her but she hadnt got the message but i didnt know that til later. However, I was very very ill in my pregnancy. I had hyperemesis and was sick constantly and in and out of hospital almost the full 9 months. I opted for an early maternity leave (due to having only started back there in the may I claimed maternity allowance) but throughout this time my ex was v v good. He took care of me, came over daily from his new home a short distance away and often came here after work on a Friday and stayed sat and sun nights -inclusive of trips to the hospital. I was very very ill so trust me sex was not even in my vocabulary. Of course he bought the odd bit of clothing for the baby buf I bought all the big stuff and even decorated the nursery on my better days towards the end of the pregnancy. Our daughter was born in the may last yr and i claimed income support.... he started visiting daily and spending some nights here to make it easier for me to rest but still pays rent at his place and has his clothes there . We discussed him moving at the end of the summer hols and a date was set, I even called benefits to get advice on how it would affect my money. However, in the August our son was hit by a car and spent a week in a coma fighting for his life. He was in hospital for 7 wks (with me and my daughter there too for the most part). During this time he was at the hospital too but also had work to return to after the initial week and so would pop in on my dogs (as well as my dad as friend) and keep the house in order. But in the last few wks i had to be at home as parent beds were limited so i would travel the 30miles to the hospital and he would come up after work and take me and my daughter home. Sometimes he would stay with us at my house rather than drive home as he was so tired. Well my son ended up with a fractured skull and a breathing issue caused by paresis of his vocal cords which he is having ops on which means he has a wheelchair to go distances beyond 200m. His brain injury has left him with concentration issues, word dissociation and short term memory loss. So since he came home I have claimed DLA for him and since I cant return to work for a long time, as he needs a lot of care, i claim carers allowance. Of course this is off set against my income support and child tax credit etc. Some friends of ours did some fundraising which paid for our hospital expenses the debt it had got me in (hospital trips, parking, meals etc add up) and a new wheelchair for him which arrives next month. In the meantime my relationship with my ex/husband has been on hold with him still visiting daily and occasionally staying to help me out with a now on the move baby and very demanding and impulsive son but obv the focus is on them, not us. However, the whole experience has brought us together and we are planning that now we are getting back towards a relationship, long as things go smoothly for the next few months we could work towards him moving in around June. In the meantime he still pays rent in his home he still has his clothes there. He still stays there a few nights a wk. But now I'm worried. ... have I over stepped the grey area?
Im an honest person and concerned that perhaps im in trouble. What's your take on this? any advice?:(
I split from my ex husband in 2008 after some long term marital issues. I moved out of the family home with my son and into a 3 bed rented house. I was in uniful tims but also working part time so I got a maintenance grant but for the most part I supported myself until my final yr when I stopped working as the uni work was getting tough . My ex husband continued to see our son -sometimes daily and have him over to his house regularly -we lived just roads apart. I finished uni in May 2011 and started work again... now with uni out of the way I decided it was time for a divorce so, being on good terms with my ex I broached the subject and he said he wasnt ready. I asked why and he confessed he still had feelings for me. After a few weeks of mulling it over I agreed I would like to start dating again so we did, but remaining living separately. We just dated, kinda like starting afresh. Anyway that summer I couldn't afford a holiday so my ex suggested we go away for a short break together. We stayed in separate rooms (I didnt want to confuse our son) -I had the double and he shared the twin room with our son. Well things got a little merry on one or two nights and 7 weeks later I realised I was pregnant... but not before finding out he was kind of dating someone else before we went away so, angry at him, I called the whole thing off but kept the baby as I was turning 30 and wanted this baby so much. As it turned out he had finished things with her but she hadnt got the message but i didnt know that til later. However, I was very very ill in my pregnancy. I had hyperemesis and was sick constantly and in and out of hospital almost the full 9 months. I opted for an early maternity leave (due to having only started back there in the may I claimed maternity allowance) but throughout this time my ex was v v good. He took care of me, came over daily from his new home a short distance away and often came here after work on a Friday and stayed sat and sun nights -inclusive of trips to the hospital. I was very very ill so trust me sex was not even in my vocabulary. Of course he bought the odd bit of clothing for the baby buf I bought all the big stuff and even decorated the nursery on my better days towards the end of the pregnancy. Our daughter was born in the may last yr and i claimed income support.... he started visiting daily and spending some nights here to make it easier for me to rest but still pays rent at his place and has his clothes there . We discussed him moving at the end of the summer hols and a date was set, I even called benefits to get advice on how it would affect my money. However, in the August our son was hit by a car and spent a week in a coma fighting for his life. He was in hospital for 7 wks (with me and my daughter there too for the most part). During this time he was at the hospital too but also had work to return to after the initial week and so would pop in on my dogs (as well as my dad as friend) and keep the house in order. But in the last few wks i had to be at home as parent beds were limited so i would travel the 30miles to the hospital and he would come up after work and take me and my daughter home. Sometimes he would stay with us at my house rather than drive home as he was so tired. Well my son ended up with a fractured skull and a breathing issue caused by paresis of his vocal cords which he is having ops on which means he has a wheelchair to go distances beyond 200m. His brain injury has left him with concentration issues, word dissociation and short term memory loss. So since he came home I have claimed DLA for him and since I cant return to work for a long time, as he needs a lot of care, i claim carers allowance. Of course this is off set against my income support and child tax credit etc. Some friends of ours did some fundraising which paid for our hospital expenses the debt it had got me in (hospital trips, parking, meals etc add up) and a new wheelchair for him which arrives next month. In the meantime my relationship with my ex/husband has been on hold with him still visiting daily and occasionally staying to help me out with a now on the move baby and very demanding and impulsive son but obv the focus is on them, not us. However, the whole experience has brought us together and we are planning that now we are getting back towards a relationship, long as things go smoothly for the next few months we could work towards him moving in around June. In the meantime he still pays rent in his home he still has his clothes there. He still stays there a few nights a wk. But now I'm worried. ... have I over stepped the grey area?
Im an honest person and concerned that perhaps im in trouble. What's your take on this? any advice?:(