So I know I posted about ESA before but a lot of things have unfolded since then.
To summarise I left my job at my own accord at the end of August mainly because I could not take it anymore. It was getting me so low and I knew I would have a breakdown or something if I carried on there. Previously doctors had said I am not depressed even though they know of 2 occasions I was rushed into hospital as I was trying to take my own life... They basically put it down to attention seeking.
Before I could go to dr's again after I left work I had a nasty injury to my arm in September (I may as well admit it here, I did it to myself because of how low I was... I always told them that I did it accidently though). It damaged my flexor tendons, nerve and muscle. Really was a deep wound.
Due to various screw ups by the hospital I mentioned in another thread, it took months for me to realise I was able to claim ESA. I put the claim in at the start of December for it to be backdated from something like the start of September until November (when plaster cast and elevated sling was removed and my arm was recovered). Finally at the end of December my correct notes were sent to my GP by the hospital and I now have an appointment for Monday to get sicknotes off my GP.
Theres several issues, I have that ESA50 form and if im correct in thinking you have to score 15 or more for your claim to not be refused? Even when the injury was at its worst I would not score 15 (the questions are basically about mobility and things even someone bed bound could do) so they are going to turn my claim down? An assessment would be pointless too as my injury is of course now healed.
Second thing. Obviously I know im going through depression and anxiety. I cant even go into a shop and buy something without being increasingly nervous and panicky so I avoid going unless im drunk and feeling more confident or i'm with someone I know well.
I cant sleep due to excess worrys, my mum has to do my washing or my clothes would never be washed and I cant even be bothered to shower often. I wear the same socks/boxers for days or weeks on end due to no motivation.
Even to call the gp surgery to book an appointment for Monday, I had to message someone online who iv never met to phone and book the appointment for me because of my anxiety.
The whole worrys and stress from my arm injury has made my depression worse but I feel stuck in this loop.
I have literally no income, not a penny coming in, no benefits, nothing. Having no money is in fact making my depression worse, as bills are bouncing and I am in severe debt. As a mad moment of desperation I even used my mums card without her permission to gamble and try to win some money for myself but ended up losing £800 :(
Working will lead to having a complete breakdown, I won't cope and would probably end up trying suicide again. I genuinely wish I could work, clearly im no lazy scrounger as I worked my last job for 10 years as soon as I left college.
Not able to claim JSA. As above with knowing I cant work at the moment but also because I left my own job theres still a sanction on me claiming. Anxiety would prevent me from even going to the jobcentre to apply.
ESA/DLA - Based on what I have read up I probably will be denied it?
Then of course theres no other benefits I can apply for. If I'm actually that low as to swing a knife as hard as I can into my arm causing a very deep cut (which i'm sure exposed the bone) which left me with tendon, nerve and muscle damage... I'm really worried if having no money and being in debt continues I will be so depressed that I could even end up taking my own life.
Any advice would be great
Thanks
To summarise I left my job at my own accord at the end of August mainly because I could not take it anymore. It was getting me so low and I knew I would have a breakdown or something if I carried on there. Previously doctors had said I am not depressed even though they know of 2 occasions I was rushed into hospital as I was trying to take my own life... They basically put it down to attention seeking.
Before I could go to dr's again after I left work I had a nasty injury to my arm in September (I may as well admit it here, I did it to myself because of how low I was... I always told them that I did it accidently though). It damaged my flexor tendons, nerve and muscle. Really was a deep wound.
Due to various screw ups by the hospital I mentioned in another thread, it took months for me to realise I was able to claim ESA. I put the claim in at the start of December for it to be backdated from something like the start of September until November (when plaster cast and elevated sling was removed and my arm was recovered). Finally at the end of December my correct notes were sent to my GP by the hospital and I now have an appointment for Monday to get sicknotes off my GP.
Theres several issues, I have that ESA50 form and if im correct in thinking you have to score 15 or more for your claim to not be refused? Even when the injury was at its worst I would not score 15 (the questions are basically about mobility and things even someone bed bound could do) so they are going to turn my claim down? An assessment would be pointless too as my injury is of course now healed.
Second thing. Obviously I know im going through depression and anxiety. I cant even go into a shop and buy something without being increasingly nervous and panicky so I avoid going unless im drunk and feeling more confident or i'm with someone I know well.
I cant sleep due to excess worrys, my mum has to do my washing or my clothes would never be washed and I cant even be bothered to shower often. I wear the same socks/boxers for days or weeks on end due to no motivation.
Even to call the gp surgery to book an appointment for Monday, I had to message someone online who iv never met to phone and book the appointment for me because of my anxiety.
The whole worrys and stress from my arm injury has made my depression worse but I feel stuck in this loop.
I have literally no income, not a penny coming in, no benefits, nothing. Having no money is in fact making my depression worse, as bills are bouncing and I am in severe debt. As a mad moment of desperation I even used my mums card without her permission to gamble and try to win some money for myself but ended up losing £800 :(
Working will lead to having a complete breakdown, I won't cope and would probably end up trying suicide again. I genuinely wish I could work, clearly im no lazy scrounger as I worked my last job for 10 years as soon as I left college.
Not able to claim JSA. As above with knowing I cant work at the moment but also because I left my own job theres still a sanction on me claiming. Anxiety would prevent me from even going to the jobcentre to apply.
ESA/DLA - Based on what I have read up I probably will be denied it?
Then of course theres no other benefits I can apply for. If I'm actually that low as to swing a knife as hard as I can into my arm causing a very deep cut (which i'm sure exposed the bone) which left me with tendon, nerve and muscle damage... I'm really worried if having no money and being in debt continues I will be so depressed that I could even end up taking my own life.
Any advice would be great
Thanks