Hi. Strange problem, but I need help with it. My grandma gets atendance allowance of 53.00 a week and I am listed as her primary carer. She is 94 and still lives at home with her little dog. My partner and I live 5 mins walk away. He is retired and has a small pension and I have recently been made redundant. I have not signed on and we are awaiting a decision from dwp regarding pension credit. My aunt and uncle arranged for my grandmas attendance allowance and my aunt recently told my partner and I that she had told my grandma that shd should be giving me the aa money as I and my partner care for her on a daily basis, taking the dog for walks, repairs/maintenance to the home, gardening, washing and cutting her hair, cooking a sunday dinner, shopping, delivering her newspapers making sure her medication is ordered and generally looking after her and keeping her company. We spend a minimum of 20 hours a week, either with her or doing things for her. Since then,my partner has been winding himself up and eventually it erupted in a row betwen him and me because he says she doesnt appreciate me and she should be using the aa she gets to pay me for "attending". No amount of me saying I dont do it for reward makes any difference as he says its the principle...she gets the money do that she can pay someone. He wouldnt go for sunday dinner yesterday, instead staying at home for his. I still went but had to try to explain why he wasnt there. Grandma and I are very close and she always knows when there is a problem. Eventually she got it out of me and offered me 25.00 a week for what I do. I dont want it. Thats not why I go there. She insisted and said she hoped it would put things right. This morning my partner said that he wasnt going to be fobbed off with 25.00 and said she was tight! And he wasnt going there unless i got 50.His own mum got aa and handed it straight over to his sister who cared for her. He cant see any difference., keeps insisting thats what its for. I have asured grandma that as far as I am concerned I will still do all the things I have always done, with or without his help. But I dont think its fair, either to her or me. And dont know what to say to make him see that hes the one being selfish. Any suggestions?
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